It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
