i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
