90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
