And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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