next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
