I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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