You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
