I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
