OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
