my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
