she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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