Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
