Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
