did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
