Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We need to get me chipped asap
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize