I'm jealous of your bromance
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize