carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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