i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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