They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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