look no pants
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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