Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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