why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How's work?
Spinning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
