is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
