tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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