I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
