I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
