My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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