would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
