I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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