ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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