hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
