I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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