I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
