she looked like the before picture.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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