we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
