Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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