she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So squirting runs in the family.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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