I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
