so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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