I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize