My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
