that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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