I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
