Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
