If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
