thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
