I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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