We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
