I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
