We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
