I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
