Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
