you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
