the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am available for nakedness
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
