Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think people are normalizing furries
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
