I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
