do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So many bounce houses so little time
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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