If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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