I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
