If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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