Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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